For my Family
Everyone was expected to help! The kids did an amazing job! The family that works together stays together.
That is the new color we painted the whole house!
Paint in my hair took a few weeks to come out.
My dad hugged me and told me he was sorry for making me cry he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. This only made me cry harder because I was not crying because of his words I was crying because of his actions.
The day before I stood on the deck of our old home breathing in the fresh air and thinking about all the physical work that lay ahead and how overwhelmed I felt. I knew this time in my life was coming and I had put it off as long as I could. Lists were being made, opinions were coming at us from every direction, decisions will need to be made. I thought to myself, I am strong, I can do this. Over the course of the next few days I realized I was in over my head.
Dieter F. Utchdorf says,
“You are stronger than you realize. You are more capable than you can imagine.”
I would whisper these words to myself as a gentle reminder but something was just not sinking in. Day 2 of house renovations and I wanted to pack my 4 kids up and drive the 6 hours home. What was I thinking? What made me think I could do this alone with 4 kids in tow. As I looked around making a list of items that needed to be done to get our house ready to sell the pressure on my shoulders was too much to carry. I was already so tired from my normal daily tasks how was I going to find the strength and will to carry on with this extensive project?
I needed to pray. I knew that if I leaned not to my own understanding I would be blessed. So, I knelt and prayed. Every night I asked for strength to carry on, energy to finish this project, and a healthy body to help me accomplish these tasks. Immediately I felt the strength from the Lord to carry on. I felt my fear and anxiety lifted off my shoulders. I was reassured I was where I was supposed to be and would be blessed. I felt the prayers of loved ones from all over. Most importantly I received helping hands from so many people around me. People who may not understand that I was praying and asking for help and they were doing the Lord’s errand. I am grateful for prayer and the way it works and I am even more grateful for a loving father’s example. One that made me cry.
While I appreciated and was beyond grateful for all the help I was receiving from my dad, sometimes it was just his simple presence that made it possible. But I cried because it made me contemplate if I would do the same for my children. Would I sacrifice my time, energy and health to help my children? Will I put their needs above my own? I pray I can be the parent to my children that my parents have been to me.
*Looking back on these pictures and remembering the time I remember the exhaustion, but mostly I remember that I survived it, that it wasn’t as hard as I pictured in my head. And just like everything else that moment passed and a new bright day came. Look past today’s struggles to a brighter tomorrow for this too shall pass.