So Emotional


I don’t know if I can handle the emotions that are flowing through me.  Since I started working again my feelings are on fire.  I am so aware of them and I am struggling to understand them.

As I sit in a meeting today I balled.  I struggled to understand the emotions and where they are coming from.

I could feel the Savior’s love and comfort and it was almost as if he was saying, “Let it go, let it all out.  I have this!”  And then I get scared.  He is asking so much of me or I feel like he is asking so much of me.  Is he really?  Some of the things that he is asking me to do are so different from what I would choose for myself.  Can I continue in faith?  Am I strong enough to change and push through this?  What if I give up?  What if I fail?  What then?  Will I loose his trust?

While all these emotions are racing through me I realize that everything that is overwhelming me at the moment are things that I asked for.  I have been blessed with all the opportunities that I begged for.  But I am failing.  I am searching for every excuse to give up, to quit, to move on to something else.  This must be what breaking under pressure feels like.  I am not going to let this break me.  I know that I asked for these things and I know it will take some changing on my part, but I am going to take a deep breathe, square my shoulders and do what I was asked to do!  I will remain focused, consistent and patient.  If I am doing the WORK of what I was asked to do all I need to do is BELIEVE and everything else will fall into place.