For over a year I have been down on my knees praying for direction on the next chapter in my life. My youngest will be in all day Kindergarten next year so I will have a lot of extra time on my hands. My family is my first priority and there is no where else I would rather be then at home with my kids, but I was raised as an “American Women” as my husband likes to tell me. I watched my mother open, run, and sale several very successful business’ all while raising 4 children. I have dreams and aspirations for myself, but I believe wholeheartedly in the quote by Harold B. Lee:
The greatest work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home.
My first place is within the home and I will never let anything jeopardize that. Yet, I also believe that as individuals and as mothers we need to prioritize ourselves. The only person that will take care of you, is you. Life is all about finding a happy medium.
When I received my answer concerning the next chapter in life I chose not to listen. For a few years I have held a very strong opinion that my husband should be blogging. I insisted that it would drive people to his business because he had something valuable to share. Praying can be tricky. For some reason I was taking my answer and forcing it upon my husband. I felt like he should be acting upon my answer and you better believe I told him that.
(Sometimes we are forced to make decisions we should have otherwise made ourselves. This is my favorite quote from an average Jennifer Lopez movie. I fell in love with it when I heard it and it is always ringing in my ears when I am faced with the same decision more then once.)
A couple years later I was faced with the exact same decision I passed on earlier. I found myself asking? Why is this coming up again, Did I make the wrong decision the first time around, Can I really make something of myself with this choice? You see, for my sweet family to afford some of the things we needed and wanted, I wanted to return to work. With my youngest returning to school full time it was time to start thinking of what I was going to do. This was a no brainer for me. I finished college with a Bachelor of Science in Health with a Minor in Psychology after an ill planned pregnancy gone heywire that faulted my nursing plans. So, obviously I would return to school and follow my passion and become a nurse. Or so I thought.
I cannot count how many times I have looked at class schedules, fees, different schools, and even funding for nursing school only to be sick to my stomach. I tell myself it must not be time. I’ll try again later. Well, now with a little more then half a year left before I will officially be home alone for several hours on end I have no more “laters”. Maybe nursing school was not meant for me. But what was? I want to help my family! I have to help my family!
When I told my husband he should be blogging and building a business I should have really been informing myself of my own future. It was a perfect plan with the wrong star. But this star wanted nothing with selling and blogging! I am an invtrovert with a very small opinion. I enjoy quiet nights alone and I hate sharing personal information in fear of people rejecting me. Why would I want to put myself out there to the world and risk judgement? But, again, here I was standing in front of an offer that was placed before me years earlier. I hesitantly passed on it the first time and I could see what I lost. I was not going to pass this chance up again after reoccurring thoughts and feelings constantly popped into my head that I should take the next step with the companies offer.
I was being forced into the decision I should have otherwise made myself and I was loving it! May we find it within ourselves to make the best decision for ourselves without being forced into it.